i think my mom watched the whole time
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize