so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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