I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
