I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
