So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
