So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
