No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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