I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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