So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
