You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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