i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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