i may or may not be watching the land before time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
