Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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