WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
