Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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