He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
