I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
