why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
