Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
