She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
