Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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