I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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