also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
