You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
