i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
