i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
