Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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