Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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