Kiss
Puke
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
