I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
