dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
