I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize