she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
