nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
