69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
