Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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