If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
