So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
