I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
