i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
