She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
