you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize