I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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