So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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