a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
