5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
