Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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