Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
