it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
