i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the day after is always just damage control
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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