Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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