what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
