I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
