I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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