I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
