just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
