you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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