As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize