But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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