Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
