I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
