I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
