At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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