Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i came on her dog
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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