I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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