You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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