Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
