shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
And then he peed in my hair
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