I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
